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I am sorry to hear that you went through that as well. I thought that my wife was just one of a kind. I admit that in frustration, I had done and said things that I shouldn't had said and done, but I realize that my actions were REACTIONS to hers. She had said and done things that crippled our marriage from the start, but I was willing to work through them and work things out, where as she thought just staying in the marriage was enough. My wife use to put me down too. She'd talk to me(even in front of my family members) like I was nothing at times. With her condition she's get belligerent, obnoxious, and just mean at times, mainly when she was drunk. My wife was a bit of a control freak too. But she didn't really care how I was out, she was mainly worried whether I'd start cleaning the kitchen within 10 seconds after she asked. And when she was depressed, I was there for her. BuT she'd get into that mean and hateful depressive stage at times. I use to think that it was becasue of me. And I still wanted to work things out. "For better or for worse", but damn a spouse can take but so much. And like you say, those type of people always want to be portrayed as a victim, which makes it some much harder for them to their faults and much easier for them to yours. I hear you, Brother. And I appreciate your advice. I admit that I'm still a bit confused about things, but I have a lot more clarity about it than before.

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