Couple married for 2 years, together 3. Last year he grew distant. He's never been too affectionate, but its different. Looking for backup on what I told the wife. ** Disclaimer Wife did resort to snooping because they got nowhere when wife would try to discuss issues. Pissed him off BIG. No passion kisses EVER very selfish in bed No interest in her Big O wants oral but NEVER gives not affectionate much critical of things she does More interest in his looks/losing weight has sex but wants reverse cowgirl style urges wife to visit swingers clubs wants wife in 3-some w/ another woman comes home with cumstuff on his shirt in boxers watches quite a bit porn (admitted he has a problem) lingers when staring down attractive women when next to his wife he treats her like a maid/waitress 95% of the time. Wife has grown bitchy more often starves for attention, affection and intimacy wants to talk problems out wants to seek couples help learned her engagement ring belonged to his ex found old sex tape of him and hooker in his car is knowingly co-dependent fixes him breakfast, packs his lunch and fixes dinner keeps very clean house works full time and pays half all bills bought herself a boob job to appeal to him never withholds sex unless are around begs for sex often wife is tall, blonde, lower average frame, very clean hygiene and often mistaken as their adult sibling instead of mother. So is it a duck?

You have not rushed things you're not a fool. You feel so different when you have LIVED the truth You each got each other to this point, teachers of sort you have lessons learned. While they be some hurt feelings at the end, you can't pretend, live a lie or things magiy change in the near future to feel something real and special It doesn't mean you've wasted time either You in there when others with the same details might have left As you move on, out of that house, etc., you haven't had a, bought a house, run up credit card debt with this guy, so you are very lucky as others have themselves painted in somewhat of a corner big time. A few things IMO, you consider as your heart, life moves on after a little breather to rest, heal a bit 1) You find a great, mature hearted, spirited that is right for you, confident, responsible, lights that magic inside that we all in a short time and you know it feels, lives right and true it doesn't have to take years. If it's right, then the time was worth it to be there, ready 2) Perhaps not move in with the next romance until you feel there are definite plans, promises and actions that are measurable and truthful, so you have the control in case somethings not right for you. 3 ) Never settle. Find someone worthy of your heart and time.

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She was involved with a married who you knew/ were friendly with, and you knew his wife kid too (not sure if I'm remembering that all correctly). And I think I remember you sayin that her having this affair with this guy became a bit of a repellant for you, in terms of your finding her attractive. You struck up your friendship/ relationship back in the states, before she moved away. I'm going to go with what I believe was the basic line of argument in my advice to (what I remember as) your original post: A while back, your gut told you something important about this woman and you kept your distance as a result. Now, however, after getting yourself knee-deep in her problems and such (as I it), you now feel a sort of sense of duty to her. But the thing is, your listening to her problems hasn't actually helped her to begin to resolve anything. Meaning, she's still acting out on all the problems she's already told you that she has. And that's because her 'confiding' in you wasn't therapy it wasn't her doing any work on herself what is was, was a process of her telling you who she is. And if you step back from that for a second, from the sentiment that came from those talks, you'll likely that the things she's told you jive with the things you *sensed* about her however so ago (when she was having that affair and you didn't find her attractive). And I'm guessing all this because, here you are, saying you need to break up with her now, and not too after your original post (what's it been, like a month? Maybe a lil more?). So, the way I it: You got sucked in, the same way the other guy(s) have. And I think now, once and for all, you should listen to yor gut and stand down on this one walk away, you don't have a duty here. You have even been/ are being manipulated by her (it's hard to say, though, because I don't know her).