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Online: Yesterday
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Luke
I'm A:Woman
Seeking A:Search dating
M Age:48
City: Quebec City
About me: 10 YEARS concert tonight.
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about-info
just a dad I am a man that loves to hunt and fish and hang out by the pool. I also listen to rock and love going to concerts. Just to let u know this is real and no b/s, I will b going to the week ass concert known as KATT fest this year. I got a job and a house and a car and still provide for my beautiful daughter who is two and a half. I do not smoke. I do drink a little. very little. But I still party! Please don't send me any bull shit in the form of a email or scams. last pic I got from somebody gave my computer a virus. That Bitch! you know who you are. So put "who is your daddy" in the subject line or I wont respond . Bahahaha! p.s. I am short about 5' on the scale with a porn star mustache. Please no married woman the last one got me in trouble.
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Online: Yesterday
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Normand
I'm A:Woman
Seeking A:Looking sexual partners
M Age:55
City: Vernal
About me: We were in the PCC sylvania tutoring sexy black girls place.
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I petitioning to get him off my local radio. Fluke, calling her a "slut" and a "prostitute," was intended to do one thing: intimidate women who would dare to speak Persons from Pueblo, CO signed this petition on Apr.
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First: some of the language is a bit immature. -"- please" should never be uttered by an adult unless it's an ageplay scenario. Or if there's bratting involved, perhaps there's a certain joking tone to the scene. You need to work to set the tone right from the beginning and stick with it, unless there's going to be a drastic change in the story's path. -"Throbbing". "Member". "Seed". "Mound" No. Just no. Please. These just make your writing seem amateur to the point of being juvenile. Second: there needs to be more detail to better describe transitions between the sex acts. As written, it's jarring. Unless you're going specifiy for that effect, it's defeating the purpose of writing. Writing requires flow. Third: grammar, spelling and structure. As someone pointed out earlier, grab the thesaurus and become best friends with it. I still struggle with dialogue. Sometimes I write dialogue that's just plain silly, to the point that it makes me cringe. So I know what you're dealing with.
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