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- the room seems a bit on the quiet side. Let’s get some conversation going in here. I was thinking yesterday (mid-sex) that I have let the kink slip out of our relationship. I think I have turned the Ms. Over my knee once in the last 3 months, and probably 3-4 times in the last year. I think that I am the only she slept with last year (gasp!! ), and the sex toy bag only got moved to get swept underneath.. Anyway, I am wondering, for those of you that are in LTR’s, how have you dealt with “dry spells”? Did you have any nervousness reintroducing? It almost feels like trying to kink a vanilla relationship again. Thoughts? BTW, speaking of Kink, if you haven’t listened to “I get off” by Halestorm I recommend it!

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not getting something for v-day, you ARE a bit high maintnance, whether you know it or not. Why don't you just say "Next week's our anniversary. Let's go (name your choice), or what would you like to do, lets do something fun just for us". Not like it's the most important thing in your world, either. Leave the guy alone with the cemetary thing. If he hasn't asked you to accompany him, he doesn't want you to. The gift on dead dad day is just bizarre. Your husband sounds depressed to me. Do you work and have outside interests or are you focused solely on him all the time? Lighten up, give him some space, take care of your own needs for a while, and stop trying to make him into someone he's evidently not interested in being right now. Maybe he feels inundated with your "needs". Maybe he though after marriage he didn't have to put forth the effort any more, which is sad, but happens sometimes when people are no longer on their pre-marriage best behavior. Nagging isn't going to change anything; try adjusting your expectations for a while. Yes, it's lousy that he can't work up any enthusiasm for you any more. But to me you sound very sensitive, overly so, to the point where he just doesn't give a shit anymore, he's so tired of considering your feelings and needs constantly. I could be wrong If he's changed radiy from the person you knew before you married, then he was only on his best behavior until now. This might be who he really is, and you might modify it a little, but he's not going to be captain romantic, ever. There also might be problems (financial, etc.) you're not aware of, and I'd make sure I became aware. But if he's depressed, that can really change a person's entire outlook and personality (I know of what I speak here.) Ask him if he thinks this could be the case, without accusation/tears/recriminations. He might agree to be screened for it. Maybe not. I think your counselor/therapist did a crap job, too.