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The week before school starts. Little stuck in pm kindergarten because mommy did not pre register him. Said she was going to and did not happen. Despite numerous s to ask if she wanted me to take care of it. No reply to emials and never got done. Last night was kindergarten orientation. Dropped little guy off at mommies house so he could spend some time with big sister. As we came into town saw mommies car at the bar. Dropped little guy off and mommie was a no show at orientation. When picking him up after orientation tried to discuss the issue of extended care at school. His new teacher had some concerns over the length of the day. Alternative would be to keep him in current daycare in the morning and let him go to school from there. Mommies plans are to have him at school all day and then to grandparents house, grandma has late stage cancer but according to mommie she is not incapacitated? Grandpa on oxegyn siffers from COPD. Today was meet the teacher day. I start work at 6 am and little guy has been with me for the past two weeks. This means he wakes up and we are out the door by 5 am. Slept in a bit this morning and forgot clothes. Sent a message to mommie and asked her to bring him some clothes so he could go to meet the teacher day. She did say she was planning on taking him. Pick him up this afternoon and was told by daycare staff she dropped off the clothes and left. Never took him to school. So now I am beyond pissed. She has two older that got the benefit of two active parents. Coming to the conclusion that the only reason she was active is that I inisted we do what was best for the and now since she has support checks coming in she could give a shit about the little guy and school. So come on all you fem nazis, tell me I am bitter for no reason that I am trying to control her. That she should be able to ignore school functions and do what ever the hell she wants. I married a worthless cunt and that was my fault. Why should a suffer for my poor document everything and file appropraite motioned and seek full custody. Things are starting to change in Indiana and given she has a trial coming up her day is coming.

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and therefore hard to describe, but I try. Just remember that this is just my experiences other subs have very different experiences of subspace. For me, it is an altered state of consciousness. It's floaty and dreamy. I get almost completely non-verbal unable to formulate a word, much less a coherent sentence if I tried. (Hence, safe words becomes absolutely useless for me). I get totally and utterly compliant. I agree to anything he asks of me when in this state. Because of that, he has to really be in control of himself as well as me once I get there. It is being totally wide open and in the "now". There are no rational thoughts, just pure experience. No past, no future, no self. I couldn't tell you my name, whether or not I am in pain, etc. I suspect that endorphins are involved, but it goes quite a bit beyond "just" an endorphin rush.