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Of course there is a difference when you choose breaking up as opposed to vice versa: you're more subject to regrets later, because it wasn't just something that happened to you. My marriage was very happy for the first 7 years, then slowly deteriorated. It was initially my husband's idea to leave, but by the time he did, I was very happy he was going, and felt enormously liberated not to have the weight of our differences and his disapproval on my shoulders. Plus I really wanted to meet other men after 11 years of just one. In , at 38, I dated around like mad for a bit because I had that released-from-jail feeling; but I came close to having sex with virtually none of them. Wound up in a very good 14-year LDR with a charming western Canadian. Neither of us was looking to move or cohabit, so it worked well for a while. Nice honeymoons every 3-4 months, lots of freedom in between, though we eventually decided it needed to be monogamous to work. We broke up in for a while because I wanted something more local, but the pickings were much slimmer at 43 than even 5 years before, and I chose to reunite with him because he's an excellent. We broke up again in early , had 2 more meetings in the next year without any promise of monogamy in between, and are now apparently kaput for good. Now, for the past months, I'm dating the first really good prospect to come my way in the 18 months after the breakup. I feel lucky to have him. He's not the marrying type, but he's loyal and faithful, quite cute, and super kind. Other than him, I think I dated maybe 4 other guys in the last 2 years. Two were a single date only (one turned out to be married, the other super ugly), one was two dates but too neurotic to continue, one was an ultimately frustrating FWB. Oh, and there were a bunch of clueless yokels trying to send generic messages through okcupid in order to get laid. Yes, the pickings are slim. Sure, freedom is nice, and I enjoy it when I have it. Still like living alone with just the cats to answer to. Still like knowing the leftovers still be exactly where I put 'em in the fridge when I next open the door. But you lose some of the sense of freedom when you realize there aren't a lot of options available to pursue anymore. Think about it.

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