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He did another experiment, I can't remember if it's mentioned in the article, where he teaches the techniques for dealing with holding off on wanting something for instance, if they picture the marshmallows as something, like clouds, or with a picture frame around them, then they can wait without difficulty even if they couldn't before. So I don't think he considers it set, but he considers it something that is not often taught for various reasons. That said, my own view is that any sort of these debates tend to create little camps on either opposite extreme, when the truth is probably significantly more complicated and has a bit of each to it. There was another experimenter recently, and I can't remember his name, who put forward a theory like yours, where in individual circumstances there is variation, but if you look at the view of someone's life, you can overall consistencies or flavors.

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I don't know what you're like in real life. I do know, however, that you post here largely to draw attention to yourself. You have even said so yourself times. This isn't a matter of judgment or cattiness: it's simply a conclusion, based on your posts here. Given that I only know you from your posts, they're all I have to go on. You get the treatment here that you invite. If you truly don't like it, then perhaps you should consider acting a bit less neurotic. You go beyond merely airing the dirty laundry: you outright invite neg ratings. It's one thing if one or two people make fun of you. But considering that just about every poster here mocks you, this question should cross your mind: "maybe it's me?" The spam to which you refer doesn't merit discussion. Most of it is posted by bots, and it gets ed away whenever there's a significant amount of legitimate traffic (witness the spam from last night that has since disappeared, for example). Responding to the spam or yelling at the spammers is ineffective; therefore, few if any of us do it. You want some real advice about your BF? Ok, fine: WTF are you doing? He bailed to fucking Spain. SPAIN. away. He does not care about you. 3 months went by, and you heard nothing. That silence speaks volumes. The fact that he only contacts you when he wants money speaks even louder. Put simply: IT'S OVER. MOVE ON. If you really are a recluse and a hermit in real life, then it's no wonder that you're not meeting people. Worthwhile guys do exist, but you need to make yourself available to them. If you're looking for someone to enable you or to heap pity on you, you're not going to find it here. Not from me, and not from most anyone who posts here. I deal in reality, sucky as it sometimes be. You want to do the same. Capiche?

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