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but no thanks for the not exactly constructive advice. My understanding actually is that my prospects of being more than a "weekend dad" are high. The question is really one of strategy to enhance my chances of making that much more rather than just a bit more.

Ive been with someone over 2 years now, we live fairly far apart and generally only each other on the weekends. In the beginning I spent weekends/weekend days at his place, which led to my my staying with grandma and grandpa while I was there, I wasnt getting into a realtionship and involving my until I felt the time was right. After getting to know him and finding I had deep feelings for him, and him for I, we discussed them meeting, which they did and things went well. We are now at a stage that we are discussing living together. Obviously it is not easy when a is involved, its difficult for everyone. He seems to feel the stress of this is only on him because he has lived in his own home for 7 years, he has no of his own, and was only casually dating prior to us getting together. I have tried explaining that it is alot on me and my as well. I am trying to keep my happy, him happy, time for him, time for my, them enjoying time together. It has become a source of tension for us. He reminds me how much he does for us and his intent is to help relieve some stress for me and take a bit of burden off my shoulders, and he does. He seems to think it is HIM making sacrifices to make this relationship work, that the majority of work is on his shoulders. It is not easy for my to accept some of my time taken away, it is not easy for me maintaining a house, running an office, groceries, keeping my upright through all the changes of being a preteen (school, other, mind/body changing), and so on as far as motherly duties go, and it not easy for him no longer being the "runner of the house" now that we are combining our lives. I him with all my heart, he is a great, 99% of the time things are amazing, but this is becoming a weekly "conversation". He doesnt understand/- the effort I put in to make this work as well. I generally give up on the conversation and concede because I dont want it to turn into a pissing match. I him and want him in our lives, and us in his. I think what is difficult for him is that I dont NEED him when it comes to taking care of the house, bills etc. Us (all of us) enjoying our time together is what is most important to me. Im not sure how to explain to him this is a work in progress for ALL of us.

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