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I appreciate all the input from everyone. Let's set the record str8. First I asked that it be equal and her to a woman instead I didn't demand it. No one knows more than me what I did and how truly sorry I am! I'm in no position to demand anything! I am trying to seek forgives, not a divorce People sometimes judge a person on one mistake and divorce, sometimes they look at the good over 20 yrs and not one bad decision. Yes I admit it was stupid n selfish. Like I said and I believe your reply best describes our situation. I questioned if she is just trying to put agony n mind fuck me for a bit, our if she go thru with it. don't take it that she has had 8 months and its brewing She does sleep with me, its not like 8 months of sexless marriage. I believe if I was a total asshole, she would have been gone by now. I know she could walk if she wanted to, she left her ex after 18 yrs of physical n mental He ended up dying in a motorcycle wreck, on heroine, methadone, and beer in his system. I have never hit a woman, and I don't her mentally, plus I know my wife, if I had, I would be balless today, n would have to sleep with one eye open. I know cheating is a form of mental, and I'm guilty as charged, but no other. I just don't wasn't to loose her over this, she didn't find out, I told her because it was tearing me apart! I'm just trying to figure out how to make it right in the run. I accept I'm a schmuck for doing this, but I'm not an abuser. Your right 20 yrs is hard to throw out the window, especially if u look at her first marriage. Thanks for the different views, at least it gives me a better insight to how to deal with this in a rational way, and I'm in no way placing the blame on her! I'm just trying to save what has been 20 yrs of a blessed marriage! u all can understand this part of it, I'm trying to figure out what I can do to make things right and to give get peace of mind, and to put this behind us.

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