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lessons from this experience I think the hardest one be how you fucked up. You know I am quite a bit older than you, had more chances to mess my life up at times and go off the rails. Part of life is moving forward and dusting yourself off after a fall. In shit like and relationships one of the worst parts of the failure is realizing that while this was special to you it still wasn't 'that' special. That gold standard we've been told about the 'happily ever after and 'till death do you part' standard. Your wife has a pattern doesn't she, something she does when the chips start to fall regardless of what the problem is in her relationship. She finds a replacement and the easiest is to look backward oh, I what we had. Of course YOU were different, you're the ONE who's going to change all that because what you guys have is special. Now there's some rocks to turn over if you want to and what you could try next, I'm sure there are stressors you could look to eliminate and self improvement you could make and raise that bar yet again. There are things I've experienced and mistakes I've made that I could in what you've written..the fact you thought you were giving an honest assessment of your marriage yet you slanted it as 'trying everything' and she's sinned and that's probably something you really believed at that moment too. I mean think about it if that's how you sell these attempts to your wife don't you think that pegs the bullshit meter? If you were on the other side of that would you get pissed or try to listen? But that bullshit meter should on your choices too she moved on to you just in the same way as the others, when your relationship hit the rocks she followed the same kind of pattern and you know where this has led in the past and you are trying like hell not to have it go there again. Yeah there's a it's PPD, being away doesn't help, you're not a saint but but there's still the pattern. How do you change that or accept it, deal with it, support a change to it? I mean she defending it didn't she? Protected it when threatened, fought for it you fucking snoop. Yup, probably you could have done it better..you should look at it too. But . I don't envy your choice I'd sit in front of a counselor to think it out.

I tend to prefer the feminine and androgynous part of the gender scale in people of either sex. My feeling is Ladyboys are ladies too. I don't have a masculine/feminine dynamic with anyone including men. But hey to each their own. "Butch" can mean anything from a woman who likes comfortable clothes, a strong woman, a unique way of being a woman or people who are a little male identified. There's a whole spectrum. While some people might like being "the -" or "the boyfriend" that concept can grate on others who are tired of being seen as "like men". It's unique to the individual. I think they have taken offense to "hey I'm not a lesbian". Lesbians are no more uniform than bifolks. Just remember we've all been labeled or treated as different at some point or another so if you don't want people to prejudge you you can't do the same to them. The only thing we all have in common is the political reality of not being straight, which in the end is enough. I also think some people were just joshing with you and the humor/affect didn't translate in written form. That's why people should never argue by e-mail or text messaging. Also it's one thing for people to appreciate a quality in others they lack themselves and a totally different thing to disparage a quality in the people one dates. If you look down on "girliness" or think of feminine people as just people who giggle and wear dresses it might not be to date women who have a trait you disparage a bit. I liked a quote I saw on a butch/femme website: Femmes are the subject of not the. While that dynamic is not my personal preference I can appreciate that sentiment.

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Why is it so impossible to think that a person would talk over a problem with gasp! a PARENT? Not all parents are stuck-up prudes. of them had rather startling and adventurous lives before they settled down and had. *cough* I doubt he gave his mother intimate details, but the broad outlines are enough to start a conversation. Odd how someone can get on here and spill all the intimate details of relationship and no one blinks, but the idea of talking it over with an adult who knows you, loves you, cares about you well-being, and wants nothing but your happiness is somehow "icky". WTF? Frankly, you both sound like you're not quite ready for a committed relationship, yet. Personally, I always figured that the multiple-partners bit, except for a very few exceptions, was for folks who didn't have the capacity to commit to a monogamous relationship. If they still need the thrill of multiple sexual encounters, then they aren't ready, willing or able to engage in the kind of relationship that *I* want I don't share well. :-) I wouldn't necessarily throw in the towel, now, but I would certain be cautious about jumping into any kind of permanent relationship with him for a quite a while, yet. The fact that he realized that "OK, been there, done that, not that great" is a good sign. We've all done stupid shit along the way. Time tell if his actions match his words.

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HIV rates holding steady in the. By The Associated Press 11:00am UTC (New York) – The number of Americans infected with the AIDS virus each year has been holding steady at about 50, , according to a government report released Wednesday. For years. health officials put the annual number of new HIV infections at 40. But years ago, they said their estimate had been too low. Using new methods and a better blood test, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention revised their estimate higher, to roughly 56, new infections in. The latest CDC report used the new methods to look at trends over years, and found that there were about 50, new infections each year from ***. and bisexual men account for the majority of the new cases – nearly two-thirds in. The only increase over the years was in and bisexual men, driven by a 48 percent increase among blacks ages 13 to 29. The annual number of new infections peaked at , in the mid- s, said Dr. Fenton, the AIDS prevention chief for the CDC. He said the report presented a mixed picture. While new infections have plateaued, “stability is not acceptable” and the increase in men is worrisome, he said. The CDC report was published Wednesday in the journal PLoS One. The figures were calculated from data from 16 states and two cities. Estimating new infections is complicated; it can take years for an infection to cause symptoms and illness. The new blood test can tell how recent an infection occurred. About million Americans are living with the AIDS virus in the. now. So the fact that the number of infections is stable is a “bit of good news,” Fenton said. “In a sense, we are holding HIV incidence at bay,” he said.