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Online: Yesterday
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I _, promise to keep my mouth shut about your business at all times. I hereby state that I will have dinner ready on the preferred specified nights upon your arrival. You , will contribute to the light gas and water as well as food contributions monthly in the amounts of but no higher than ($) monthly in order to keep me in line and to make sure you can wash your ass after you have your way with me. I , promise to never speak to nor look at your wife/girlfriend/s mother and in turn, You , will make every effort to make sure we DO NOT end up in the same location. I will be available to you 2 nights a week and I will specify 48 hours in advance if plans should change. You , will not lie and make me feel as if I am more than just a side chick and I will not introduce you to anyone relevant in an attempt to feel more relevant. As your side chick, I also understand the hours that are permissible to your phone and/or text. You are able to text and/or at your leisure. You are not allowed to act jealous; this violates the clause to not make me feel relevant. In the event that your "other half" contacts me, I am to act as if I am a girlfriend of a good friend of yours and you will follow up with that friend to play along as needed. I will listen to your problems and keep mine to myself because you dont care.
Lastly, You _, will buy me a gift for Valentines Day, Christmas and Mothers Day but I will accept them 24 to 48 hrs after the actual holiday, I _, will in turn do the things your girlfriend WILL NOT times during those holidays.
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