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So you are very likely to run into damaged goods on either side, unless your pool of people is somehow different. Why are damaged goods in USA very common? 1. Poverty in USA. 2. Welfare in USA. 3. The Bible does not help. 4. Evolution in general. It does not optimize human beings; it just propagates the genes of those who like unprotected sex and have managed to procreate before they die (which could be at 21 or 25). Then the kid goes into the care and the cycle continues. Women are instinctively attracted to *strong* men. These strong men are physiy strong enough to beat the crap out of their neighbor, which is good, but they also end up beating their wives. Again, based on evolution, this be an acceptable balance to a woman. She get beaten a bit but her kid be protected. From the nurture aspect of it, misery loves company. Both the beater and the beatee are miserable, or they would not be in this together. Sometimes both have much no choice, they are bound to grow up miserable and create miserable, say if they grew up in a ghetto. Sometimes the beatings of the mother and the daughter by father are a part of growing up, so it is only natural when the boyfriend does it. If a guy takes a 14 yo girl's virginity, then her bond with him is very very strong, no matter how much he sucks. It takes a strong, independent, mature woman to be able to walk away from an abusive relationship. The first inclination is to stay. It also takes experience to recognize a player. The first inclination is to fall for him. Sometimes those who are beaten actually believe that they deserve it, learn to enjoy it and think that it is normal. Humans are not special species, they are but monkeys with shoes. Just as monkeys they feel first, think second. Women are even more emotional and hormone-driven than men, so they feel even more and thus think less. When you run into one of these girls just run away. Whether it was her fault or not, she is likely to be a damaged good. You want an equal romantic partner, not a patient. We live in a beautiful world not!

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I'm in it, for sure. It's part of why I quit dating. It was just exhausting. I couldn't find anyone who hit all of the "must-haves" who seemed to like me back. I'd say that I usually know by the end of the 2nd or 3rd date if the chemistry is there. I know this isn't true for everyone, but I have never grown into a sexual attraction for someone if it wasn't there initially (despite concerted attempts with various wonderful men who I knew could make me very happy if only we could connect on that level). I have certainly grown to be more attached to someone while lacking that passion, but it seems that only leads to heartbreak when I am forced to admit to myself, and them, that I can't feel for them what they have grown to I already do. There really isn't anything for it but to keep an open mind, keep at it, and keep your options open. Stay friends, how you feel, be as honest as you can be. It might be your feelings grow and change over time, or it might be that you have to end things later when it might be a little bit harder. Just like any relationship, it's a bit of a risk. avoir le courage!