to the isle? And I'm a little bit with you on certain things. Not all people, lesbain or other, want a term serious relationship. Sometime ya just want a fling in any of it's permiatations. There is a strong presumption here that a one-on-one term relationship is the gold standard. Now I understand that for some that IS indeed the gold standard, and it should NOT be PRESUMED that someone is interested in an open relationship (aka a way in some instances, or cheating in other instances etc. etc. etc.) but FOR ME, though I find it PRESUMPTIOUS to assume an open open relationship (in all it's permiations) is acceptable, I don't find it presumptuious to *inquire* about such arrangements either. PMS sucks. Exercise, a shower, and a big bowl of popcorn help. :)

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It's shallow to exclude people because of little differences between yourself and your ieal mate. Especially if those qualities are minor and unchangable, or physical in nature. For instance, it's shallow to exclude a woman because one breast is a bit larger than the other. The whole concept of "shallow" is that you are only looking at the surface of someone. A real connection is a DEEP one. So if you are looking for someone based on what you can on the surface, you are shallow.

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Lets face it. You being worried about the stigma and what others think of you only shows how deeply this fucked you up. What's even worse is when you here from others who HAVE been there that you need to take the time to get before you worry about the things you are you argue. That's what I mean you're NOT that special or as you would put it, human. Humans make mistakes. Tell you what don't take my word for it, pick up any divorce recovery book, go to a counselor, read what others who've made it through what you are going through. You know, I wonder who really cares what the right thing to do here is..and who just doesn't want to face life on their own for a bit and do almost anything to avoid it. Just remember, second marriages fail at a higher rate than first for a reason. because they too thought they NEEDED someone and never took the time but hey what would I know. Oh..and I'm AN asshole. Proper grammar in an insult shows you care.

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I didn't your posts in real time. When I did drop in this evening and noticed the "lights" I followed the source. It was not a story as are well aware. I can appreciate you not liking labels. I don't like them either. But I like arguments less which is why I didn't open a post directly in response to you. I didn't want to be part of your train wreck. That seem cold to you but I just didn't want to invest my energy as others had done with little to no positive response. You and only you can fix this situation. Just lighten up a bit. There's no need to change your handle and start over again. From time to time there are meatier topics feel free to write your heart out when one touches you but this constant centering on yourself and turning your defensive anger on others (no matter which method you choose) not endear you. Give it time. And never forget people have opinions, they're like navels everyone has one. It's not only the way of this forum or the webs, it's the way of the world. don't be sad. Rough starts be history enough. Take care.

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