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I watched her walk across the parking lot her apprehension was apparent to me and anyone who have been watching, I didn't want this for either of us but I couldn't change the circumstances. What do you want from me she asked with an irritated tone? “A million words but nothing you are unwilling to give” I quickly replied. “I want to learn from you I want to hear about your choices and mistakes, both good and bad. I want to find me, the me who used to easily and freely. I want to argue, fight, cry and grow. She listened to my words but I could in her face the hesitation, the wanting to trust and believe and yet the fear. I knew immediately she had been hurt and was unwilling to open herself up to more possible pain. It broke my heart to the uncertainty cross her face, I wished her no harm and was angry at those who had hurt her before. I wanted her to understand I was not a threat; I was not in with her just that I loved her for who she was in my life. For whom she allowed me to be when I was with her. I had no idea what I would feel in the future I only knew that time with her was somewhat safe. I needed all the safe places I could find right now. Besides, I let her know that I still didn't trust her % because I knew she had laughed at me a couple times. So I was a bit wary, I wasn't sure if the laughing was because I was funny or it was to make fun of me. I was quite perceptive and I knew a lot more that she thought I did. I had done my research and so I thought I was ahead of the game going in. I understand a person is only as good as the time they put into something so I wondered how truly she was and was I making a good choice. I knew what my fallacies were, shoot I had heard them enough times from all the wrong people. I also knew how I was and was more than willing to make changes. My changes, not something another person had pointed out. If I followed that path I would make no real changes at all. Because that was the life I had come from, living life as I thought others wanted me to. I knew I had a lot to learn but I figured that if I just had someone to listen to, someone who had gone before me I could listen and learn. I knew that for me listening and then personally trying was how I learned best so why not her, why not someone I wanted to get to know.