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re: political lesbian post I read this with interest: re: political lesbian seeks "actual" lesbian (capitol hill) before y'all get super upset (and i see those two response posts). that post was clearly written by someone MAD at a so-ed political lesbian, not by the PL herself. it sounded like the poster got tired of listening to a woman who was on trying to find people to meet. they of protracted exchanges discussing politics before meeting. let's be real, sounds like the poster got annoyed by a mid-twenties woman who is so insecure and of confronting her own possible homosexuality that she is hiding in the reeds of feminism! This is a truly understandable guess, but not accurate in this case. The back story: I was reading a memoir by a lesbian active in parts of the women's and gay liberation movements in the late 60s and 70s (Tales of the Menace by ). She has a truly hilarious description of her own experiences with a couple of political lesbians she slept with (the book also has some more nuanced analysis later on, but this particular description itself really had me laughing). So . as I laughed my way through the description, it occurred to me that if had been around in the 60s and 70s, the straight political lesbians (not the women who gracefully and respectfully use PL as a wedge to come out, but the actual straight ones with heterosexual relationship issues they're working out by trying to use other women) might be an analogue some of to our deluge of "I have a man but want a woman on the side and he understands and won't be involved" posts that we see a lot of here. if you don't want to date someone who is ex-het or ex-bi, then don't. but it doesn't help any lesbian to feel an overwhelming sense of self-doubt and have a bunch of people her a giant faker when she will already admit she is unsure of her sexuality. give her a break. I myself was in a het relationship for many years but am a lesbian. So past identification as het or bi is really not a big deal to me. What is a big deal to me is objectification of lesbians and bi women as *things* to be used to serve the needs of straight women with issues. I myself have been fortunate in that that I have never had to deal with such a person in my own relationship travels. But the energy of it is incredibly ugly to me even from a distance. I strongly suspect that most of us who made the transition from identifying het and/or bi to lesbians have done so gracefully and well and haven't objectified women in the process. But for dating and relationships seems to attract a LOT of objectification of women by other women, het couples and/or men posing as such. and if the PL that the poster was writing about happens to still be on and reading these, give me a shoutout. not all of us believe in "born this way" gay-male ideology. Just to be clear, there is/was no such person in relation to the original post. To the poster I quote and anyone else who feels similarly: As long as you don't relate to other women as objects who exist mainly to serve your personal needs, I have no problem with you at all. The issue is objectification, and on that point I would hope that anyone who is truly, core-level respectful of other women and our sexuality would agree.
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