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It should have ended that night ouside of Las Vegas Nightclub.. D. You know so well how to manipulate my mind.. I am posting this on here because I know there is no chance in hell you will see this. You don't ever look on here. But, you took away every other way for me to voice my thoughts, so hence this post. I hope that in lieu of the fact that I have deleted my FB, IG, Ask, Twitter, Blog, Addresses, and any other means of social media life, you find it as my way to a truce. I don't want to do this anymore. We have hurt EACH OTHER enough. You got the last laugh. You made me look like a pitiful fool, and shut me up. As much as you know I LOVE to write, and that my dream is to publish a book. No one will ever know the true story between you and I, except YOU AND I. Not OUR daughter, not your , not our families, not friends, not ANYBODY. Yes, I put forth MUCH effort in making you look bad, because the pain I feel STILL, TO THIS DAY, makes me incomprehensible to the idea that you could have EVER loved me, yet STILL hurt me in such degrading, embarrassing, despicable ways. (And hey, whoever she is now, she needs no part in the story between YOU AND I, so tell her to stay the fuck out of it...) I still trusted the idea you would move out here and try to fix us. Pitiful, I know. But, you are the one I can't forget. I just HATE that you can't FIGHT to be a part of the life WE created. She didn't ask to be here. We made her, and it is OUR responsibility to raise her. Whether you have 4 other , or 40, you have to help out, not only FINANCIALLY, but also EMOTIONALLY. She asks for you. I tell her you are working. She asks for your , and I tell her they're in . I thought maybe you needed time to FIND YOURSELF. More like you needed time to find the next one to support you. Yep, I went to CS. I need the help dammit. Look, you broke me, ALL OF ME. No matter how many books I write, no matter the blogs I post, or the questions I answer, YOU WON! You get the last laugh, as you always do. I don't know how funny it is to you to not be able to have a part of OUR 's life, but obviously you also don't care. So, enjoy my demise. You have no way to contact me, and I know that you will never come all the way out here, knocking on the door, just for your daughter. You . My writing is over. Our story ends here. I really do wish you all the best, and I hope you have finally found someone to understand you, and love you, and be special enough for you not to . I don't plan to hate you forever. I never did really hate you. I love you too much to do that. But, I also love my daughter too much to allow you to hurt her, as you have done me. And for the record, a broken nose was a lot less painful than the broken heart of a mother who watches her daughter cry to sleep, shaking in her arms, because of an absent father who chooses to come and go out of her life as he pleases. She's only 3. You should know the pain already, you didn't have your first born in your life for 16 years. Anyway, I'm not happy, but I'm at , so just be content with the fact that I am still alone, and that I may just be so for the rest of my life. You crushed any hope in my heart that men are worth holding on to. F.
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