LTR with a friend

Marriage Discussion

LTR with a friend

Postby fields » Sat Sep 18, 2010 5:38 pm

LTR with a friend
I have a friend who I've been friends with for about 6 years. Started off as a crush which turned into a great friendship. I kept telling him he should propose to his gf, as others have, and he finally proposed. Problem is, I haven't heard from him SINCE. How many times do you reach out to a friend to hang out until you give up? Rumor has it his GF was only buddy buddy with me because he was, and now that he's engaged, she probably doesn't want him near me. I don't know how justified those rumors are. I don't know what else to do. I miss him. He's my friend. How long should I go with trying to see him till I stop? I'd like to add that my crush on him ended about a year in a half into our friendship. Eww, He's like a brother now. So i'm not trying to get into his pants or anything. I just want my friend back.
fields
 
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Re: LTR with a friend

Postby Pauletta » Sun Oct 10, 2010 8:20 am

Eh. Give it a few months.
Then invite them both out, preferably a double date, and get to know her a little better
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Re: LTR with a friend

Postby naveen » Sun Oct 10, 2010 8:50 am

I do know her
I've hung out with her/them many times.. I don't get what's happening
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Re: LTR with a friend

Postby nanni » Sun Oct 10, 2010 9:12 am

Could be the honeymoon period then
You know, when they are all about each other and only each other all the time. Could be she feels threatened by his friends as she is the "new" relationship. Could be she doesn't like him having female friends. If that's the case, nothing will change until he decides to confront that issue. That sucks. A lot of my friends are men. I let guys know that when they met me and if they had an issue with that, I knew in my life it would not be good down the line. Fortunately, my husband is the same way (lots of friends that are women) so he understood and our lives went on normally. Well, normal after we got through the honeymoon period (or as I it - our sweaty monkey love phase
nanni
 
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Re: LTR with a friend

Postby alberto » Sun Oct 10, 2010 9:27 am

well they've been dating
11 years. I don't know how NEW this is. I know that she's made comments about our friendship, never to me. I always was blind to this because I am very open to male/female friendships. I did notice the last time I hung out with him, weeks before proposal that there was a change in him. VEry submissive which he wasn't before. It was kinda weird and I mentioned it to my gf who knows us both. She ws the one who told me "thang, that girl is always envioius of you, you just didn't see it". I dismissed it, i like her that much, but now I'm not so sure
alberto
 
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Re: LTR with a friend

Postby Madelon » Sun Oct 10, 2010 10:07 am

Aaahhh.
I'm sorry. I've had it happen to me once with a good friend and it really hurt badly. Then you have no choice but to confront him - at least for some answers. You have a right to know why someone that was so close has now disappeared on you
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Re: LTR with a friend

Postby Elladine » Sun Oct 10, 2010 10:20 am

yeah it sucks
ESPECIALLY because he's not the type at all. I know the type, my bff, he's the type. i saw that from a mile away. But him, he's so not the type. I don't get it
Elladine
 
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Re: LTR with a friend

Postby Ronni » Sun Oct 10, 2010 10:34 am

Then she is threatened and he is avoiding
I read the JLO comment she made below. Maybe he had mentioned in a conversation with her that he liked the way latina women look or commented on a latina actress or model and she is freaking? I am part latina and I know that some women have this image of latinas being super sexual? I'm reaching. I just hate that you're hurt and hope you find some happy resolution to this
Ronni
 
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Re: LTR with a friend

Postby Odele » Sun Oct 10, 2010 10:47 am

Strange. So I was talking to marcelli and shes
Telling me about her husband he speaks 4 languages and she was just talking to him on the phone in portugese. The dad offered to pay for there rent and Johnny her husband said no. He wants to learn on his own how to make Money so he doesn't accept anything from the dad. He also tells marcelli that when you have less money that that makes them closer. Most rich people aren't close with their spouse
Odele
 
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Re: LTR with a friend

Postby dian » Sun Oct 10, 2010 11:03 am

Is it like he's doing the fade?
I will flat out honestly tell you, I totally encouraged my husband to get rid of the undesirable friends he had. (male and female!) This isn't to say that I think you're undesirable, but gf turned fiancee probably considers you some kind of threat
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