Spontaneity - Do you have it in you ltr?

Marriage Discussion

Spontaneity - Do you have it in you ltr?

Postby Alyson » Mon Oct 11, 2010 3:36 am

Spontaneity - Do you have it in you ltr?
I've been with my guy for over 2 years and he's always paid attention, done very nice & loving things for me. The problem is that in the last couple months; these things have dropped off - ok STOPPED. My problem is that I went through this with my x and now I'm going through it again. I am a generally affectionate, loving, caring person that shows how much I love the other person by doing nice things. Buying them their favorite candy, making fav dinners, giving cards for no reason, leaving love notes - things of that nature. I'm wondering how many of you who have been together for many, many year and have had this problem. Did it get solved or did you just get used to it? I know the entire theme of guys do what they can to 'get you' and then once they’ve got you, they slack off.
Alyson
 
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Re: Spontaneity - Do you have it in you ltr?

Postby Kalai » Mon Nov 01, 2010 4:32 am

can you be more specific?
Specifiy, what very nice and loving things has he stopped doing for you
Kalai
 
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Re: Spontaneity - Do you have it in you ltr?

Postby Amalea » Tue Nov 02, 2010 11:11 am

The same type of things that i do for him
He doesn't pay attention half as much as he used to. He never makes dinner like he did. he'd always bring me cute things home from the store. Little things like that. Doesn't have to be a weekend getaway or anything that costs tons of $. Just small things. I think it's a normal occurence that people get comfortable. I'm comfy and still think of him and do the cutie things
Amalea
 
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Re: Spontaneity - Do you have it in you ltr?

Postby Padma » Tue Nov 02, 2010 11:35 am

have you told him
Padma
 
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Re: Spontaneity - Do you have it in you ltr?

Postby Ivy » Thu Nov 04, 2010 4:31 pm

Yes, and he said he'd try harder
I told him that I liked the attention he gave me while we were dating and he agreed that it's slowed down. Mostly cuz he got comfortable. he loves me more than before, but just doesn't think the way he used to
Ivy
 
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Re: Spontaneity - Do you have it in you ltr?

Postby jaikumar » Thu Nov 04, 2010 9:45 pm

how long ago did he say this? and, has he
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Re: Spontaneity - Do you have it in you ltr?

Postby Helene » Fri Nov 05, 2010 5:48 am

We just talked a couple days ago
He's sending cute txts to me and ing me more often, the way we used to be a couple months ago. He is making some improvements I think
Helene
 
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Re: Spontaneity - Do you have it in you ltr?

Postby hongphuc » Fri Nov 05, 2010 6:13 am

well then, it sounds like you stated a need
and got it met. Kudos to both of you. If you're like me, you may be obsessing because you shouldn't have had to ask and now it doesn't mean as much and probably you're a bit premenstrual to even be thinking about these things. ; ) Have some chocolate and be happy he listened and responded. Sounds like you've earned yourself a good guy
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Re: Spontaneity - Do you have it in you ltr?

Postby Ayn » Wed Nov 10, 2010 8:23 pm

True, very true
It is kind of odd to request this sort of thing, I guess. :-). The great thing is that I said what I liked and he responded back. I give him lots of lovin for that. I think sometimes we might need a little kick in the rear to get us going on. And from what I'm hearing that may jsut be what it was
Ayn
 
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Re: Spontaneity - Do you have it in you ltr?

Postby Quintina » Wed Nov 10, 2010 8:58 pm

Odd maybe, but not bad
I used to fall into that line of thought many women are practiy trained by our society to believe - that "we shouldn't have to ask our partners to show us love the way we want them to because they should just know." As I matured, I realized that expecting our partners to be mindreaders is insane. But asking for what we want, and giving our partners the opportunity to fulfill our request is what really bonds us - because it exemplifies our working together - as partners
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