Spontaneity - Do you have it in you ltr?

Marriage Discussion

Re: Spontaneity - Do you have it in you ltr?

Postby Izzy » Fri Nov 12, 2010 3:10 am

I love the spin you put on that
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Re: Spontaneity - Do you have it in you ltr?

Postby Ilda » Mon Nov 15, 2010 4:40 pm

parsing stuff out
First off, I'd say stop comparing what *you* do to what *he* does (or does not) do. That road just lies horror. How long have you been living together? Doesn't pay attention half as much? Doesn't pay attention to what? What you say? Doesn't pay attention as in physical kind of stuff (snuggling on the couch...whatever)? Doesn't make dinner like he used to? How did he used to make dinner and how has it changed? Bringing you trinkets...enh? Maybe hasn't seen anything amusing in the last 2 months... Are you typiy at the store with him now
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Re: Spontaneity - Do you have it in you ltr?

Postby Greta » Mon Nov 15, 2010 6:10 pm

He should make dinner.
Assuming you both work etc, the one who isn't too tired or late getting home should start dinner. If has stopped doing that, could it be that he wasn't doing some things "right?" My DW ruled the kitchen while she was a SAHM. When that changed, she had to relinquish some control over the details. When I'm cooking dinner, it's done my way. If she wants things done strictly her way, she gets to do them. She's that way about doing the dishes. She won't let anyone else do that. I'm ok with that. If she changes her mind on that, I'll do dishes
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Re: Spontaneity - Do you have it in you ltr?

Postby dunbar » Thu Nov 18, 2010 4:24 am

You have a point
And since we've lived together, I have taken a step back. Just cuz he doesn't wash the glasses first (like I do), doesn't mean he is wrong or I am going to die over it - for that matter. He cooked while he didn't work. Now, we both work and I am the chef. Sometimes I will ask him to cook and he'll give me this look and say 'oh, but it comes out so much better when you do it'. LOL
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Re: Spontaneity - Do you have it in you ltr?

Postby Fleurette » Sun Nov 28, 2010 4:59 pm

Another thing we do is
eat more or less the same thing every Monday, another thing Tuesday, etc. That simplifies menu planning. We have standard ways of fixing dishes, and it's mostly the seasonings where we express or individual styles. I like to cook because I like to eat and I have the freedom to do what I want. If your guy comes home and starts drinking or whatever right away, that can sap his energy for cooking. He shouldn't do that when it's obvious that he should at least start dinner. If he's too tired and stressed to start dinner, then he needs to change his life
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Re: Spontaneity - Do you have it in you ltr?

Postby Kristie » Mon Dec 06, 2010 1:58 pm

some couples
also fall into a routine. My dad is the only cook in the house. wasn't always that way, it switched off at some point maybe 15 years ago and that's just how it works. LOL
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Re: Spontaneity - Do you have it in you ltr?

Postby Annissa » Sun Dec 12, 2010 7:59 am

ah, but which one cooks better? mom or dad
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Re: Spontaneity - Do you have it in you ltr?

Postby Hennrietta » Mon Dec 13, 2010 5:30 am

I don't know if DW did this on purpose, but
after a while I started liking some of my own cooking better than hers. Not her perennial old favorites, but some other things like chicken curry. Mine is much better than hers, so I always make it
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Re: Spontaneity - Do you have it in you ltr?

Postby Antonio » Tue Dec 14, 2010 10:42 am

Speaking from experience
I loved my GF who then was my Fiance and Loved her and cared for her and got married and my brain kind of turned off. I got into play computer games and tuned out for the first couple years. Then I grew up a bit and got over some gaming addictions I would say. Then got back in love with her and have a great couple years then I kind of slacked off as a spouse and took my wonderful wife for granted for a while and now I am back to being the best spouse I can be. Guys go through phases. They don't remember everything like you gals and it doesn't hit our radar till we see the ice burg coming then we correct and usually make a lasting improvement but that will fade a bit till it happens again. Like a constantly increasing stock chart graph. Each time it starts to go down we are unaware until it gets bad then it goes way up to better than before and so on in a constantly getting better roller coaster ed marriage
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Re: Spontaneity - Do you have it in you ltr?

Postby Angeline » Tue Dec 14, 2010 1:46 pm

You know exactly what I mean
Thank you. Yes, we talked and he kind of said the same thing you are saying. A lot of things are normal now, he sees me every day, we do everything together, etc. LOL. No, he doesn't remember the same things I do. Good point. Thanks for the assurance. Appreciated
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