Help needed – please
Still in the process of getting my divorce finalized. After a year and a half of drama, we need to set up a permanent visitation schedule. I’m thinking that a 50/50 schedule during the summer time will be fine, but during the school year more of a 70/30 or 60/40 would be appropriate. We live four towns away and it’s about a 35-45min ride each way. Is it fair for our kids to have to endure a flip flopping schedule during the school year? Dad house 3 nights one week, 4 the next or would every other weekend (FRI –SUN) and once or twice during the week for dinner on Mom’s days (Tue & Thurs 3-7pm). Please, no bashing. I only need encouragement not to be push into depression. I’m thinking that dad will get the kids every other weekend beginning Friday at 6:30pm and drop of Sunday at 7pm. (Homework to be completed during the time at dad’s house.) During the week that they’ll be with me, dad can pick kids up from school/daycare and have them for a few hours for dinner/fun stuff; let’s say from 3:00 -7pm. Here is the kicker! We have three kids together 9, 5 and 5mths. He hasn’t seen the baby yet as he was cheating on me with his now fiancé and whom he cheated on her with me and conceived our 5mth old. After his now fiancé payed to get the pertinty test done, and at the persistence of our 9yr old asking why his youngest sibling doesn’t come over when they do, he now wants to see the baby only on Sundays for a few hours. Is that really fair???? With the schedule proposed above, since he hasn’t seen the baby yet, having him on the Tues & Thurs for a few months at first should be a good way for them to get to bond and then maybe by Nov or Dec all of the kids can follow the schedule above- right? I just hope that his fiancé has really forgiven him for the cheating (2x) and has really come to terms with fact that the baby is here now and will be fair and act lovingly to the baby when the kids are there at her home. Also, her two kids (14&15) have seemed to bond with my soon to be Ex; what would be their reaction to the baby….