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  • Looking For a Play Partner. lessons from this experience I think the hardest one be how you fucked up. You know I am quite a bit older than you, had more chances to mess my life up at times and go off the rails. Part of life is moving forward and dusting yourself off after a fall. In shit like and relationships one of the worst parts of the failure is realizing that while this was special to you it still wasn't 'that' special. That gold standard we've been told about the 'happily ever after and 'till death do you part' standard. Your wife has a pattern doesn't she, something she does when the chips start to fall regardless of what the problem is in her relationship. She finds a replacement and the easiest is to look backward oh, I what we had. Of course YOU were different, you're the ONE who's going to change all that because what you guys have is special. Now there's some rocks to turn over if you want to and what you could try next, I'm sure there are stressors you could look to eliminate and self improvement you could make and raise that bar yet again. There are things I've experienced and mistakes I've made that I could in what you've written..the fact you thought you were giving an honest assessment of your marriage yet you slanted it as 'trying everything' and she's sinned and that's probably something you really believed at that moment too. I mean think about it if that's how you sell these attempts to your wife don't you think that pegs the bullshit meter? If you were on the other side of that would you get pissed or try to listen? But that bullshit meter should on your choices too she moved on to you just in the same way as the others, when your relationship hit the rocks she followed the same kind of pattern and you know where this has led in the past and you are trying like hell not to have it go there again. Yeah there's a it's PPD, being away doesn't help, you're not a saint but but there's still the pattern. How do you change that or accept it, deal with it, support a change to it? I mean she defending it didn't she? Protected it when threatened, fought for it you fucking snoop. Yup, probably you could have done it better..you should look at it too. But . I don't envy your choice I'd sit in front of a counselor to think it out.
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