If you think THIS is bullying, then I kindly suggest that you grow a thicker skin. Yes, it's true that people are probably a bit more rude on than they might be in real life but we've only got characters to get our point across. Sometimes that comes across as abrupt or blunt. don't come to this forum looking for "friends", please. While, after a time, some of the participants have met others and established a friendship, these are the rare exceptions, and not the rule. Simply by geography, it's not designed to be a place to make friends. Reviewing your history, I would suggest (again, kindly) that you might find more success with life and your relationship with others if you considered a course of counseling. You obviously have some issues eating at you, and this isn't the best place to find answers to those issues. We can give you the benefit of OUR experience, and we can make suggestions, but we are severely limited by what you choose to tell us, we can't read body language, and we can't ask questions and expect a direct answer. Find a competent counselor and lay out your issues to them. That's my advice.

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to give you a little more background in terms of our relationship: when we met we both weren't on the best path. i was still going a little crazy with going out and what not, but hey, i had just graduated college and wanted to enjoy life. he had moved here as an aspiring model/actor. yeah. we were NOT initially compatible. it was platonic for the first year. plus, neither of us was looking for a relationship. a lot of growing up for both of us happened while we knew each other: i had to start financially helping out my family, my roommates started doing and his parents split. techniy, his dad left to another country and left them with nothing. he has helped me ground myself. he got shit together, got a job that payed more and got back to school. he has a now and is looking to transfer. there have been times when i have to help him out a bit financially, but one thing i can say is that he is always trying. i dont believe he is with me for money or bc i make it easy on him. plus, hes handsome and youth is such a commodity in LA. i push him very hard and expect a lot. we try to equally divide all expenses and responsibilities, etc. now, to answer your question. there was a point i considered moving back home to help out my family a little bit. this was a big decision for me as i had left my home when i was 16 and never returned. at that time, he was extremely supportive, sad, but asked if we could remain together (my family is a 6h drive). as for the 3some, i wanted to be open minded and well, maybe grow as a couple. i realized its not for me. ive been questioning the morals and ethics that i grew up around and how they play into it all. i spoke to my friend from my hometown and she surprised me by saying that she thinks im judging myself too harshly like always. i dont have the luxury to sit back and relax and "enjoy" stuff as it happens. i think ahead. this is my first real relationship so im noticing some tendencies/insecurities about myself. what im also trying to realize is that life happens. i never expected to live in la because it has a higher concentration of douche bags. i never expected to be in a relationship at my age. i never expected to play while in a relationship. but i guess life happens and im trying to remember that.

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