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It's strictly the attention how would your wife feel if it were YOU on the other side of the chat, making flirtatious remarks? You know she enjoys it so isn't that a bit of a clue for you? However, I tend to agree with you to a certain extent. I think it shows a lack of judgement and loyalty to continue chatting/flirting with someone to that extent when your partner has made it clear that it makes them uncomfortable. If it had been one or two comments eh. Big deal. But starting in the morning and continuing through until bedtime? That's excessive. And talking about how good your wife is at oral? Umm no. That's crossing a line between flirting and sexting. That's a symptom, and one that you would do well to pay attention to. (Why shouldn't her chats be off the record? Why would she want to keep a record of casual chats? ALL my chat are off the record, it doesn't mean that I'm hiding anything.) And, yes, if I were you, I'd feel a little wounded, too, that she made you out to be the bad guy to the forum. Have you talked to her about it? The fact is that you DO feel insecure and annoyed, otherwise, you wouldn't be cyberstalking your wife trying to figure out who she is talking to and what she is saying. She's talking on the forum just like she's be talking to a group of girlfriends over a drink. Would you sit at the next table and listen to her conversation? This blow over quickly if you allow it to. But you might want to take this opportunity to talk to your wife and if you can figure out what kind of adjustments you guys need to make so that she doesn't feel like she needs to get affirmation from ex-HS boyfriends.

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