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I am sitting here still in my pajamas and bathrobe at 4:30 pm on a Saturday afternoon all alone. And Im thinking about how I might spend (or waste?) the rest of this beautiful late summers day. I thought that the H Street Festival might be a fun diversion but I dont have anyone to go with me and traffic is a nightmare, Ive been told. I wonder how, exactly, I got to this place in my life and I dont know where Im going. Some of my friends are out of town, some live far away and some are just not speaking with me right now. They are out of sorts about their own lives and I am depressed about mine not a great combination. As it turns out, misery doesnt always love company. Im not even sure that Id want to talk to/hang out with me right now! Techniy, I have been unemployed for the last 18 months. I am juggling three part-time jobs in order to piece together some sort of existence for myself. Im kind of feeling glass half-empty right now, when I should appreciate that its half-full, as well. I have a college degree, and have been happily working away in the non-profit sector for decades now. But I still wonder Whats it all about, Alfie? Ive never been married, although Ive received a few proposals in my day. I dont have , but never really wanted any. (At age 18, I remember saying that Id rather give birth to a puppy than a ! I am more of a dog person; and sometimes a cat person.) In mid-May, my on-again/off-again romantic relationship with a friend fell apart I think for the last and final time. Did I really just invest + years in someone that never really loved me and never will?! (sigh) And where does this leave me now at age 53?! A small part of me feels like I should just begin preparing myself for death. And another part of me says that I have so much more living yet to do! Dont get me wrong Im not all gloom and doom. But I have, indeed, hit a speed bump on the way to a crossroads in my life. Ive lost my map and dont have GPS and theres no one around to ask for directions! I had an interview this week, so Im hoping to get some good news on the job front. (But if I dont get that job offer, will I just sink further in my professional slump?!) I need a stable job, so that I can get a loan and fulfill my dream of buying my own home. Did I mention that I am renting a room at a friends house? (ugh) I feel so developmentally challenged and behind and hopeless and hopeful all at the same time! By now, youre probably wondering what the hell I am doing on CL and what is it that I want? Well that makes two of us! I have no idea. Do I want new friends? Yes. Do I want to go on a date with a tall, handsome and emotionally available gentleman? Well, sure. But for now, I think that I will go make myself another cup of (decaf) coffee and peruse the contents of my friends refrigerator and see whats on television. And, of course, monitor my ! Does anyone out there have any good ideas? Is there a self-help book I should read? An inspirational movie I should see? A special song I should listen to? An event I should attend? A friend I should make? An exercise class I should take? A bartender I should meet? A church I should visit? A vacation I should book? A decision I should make? I just dont know anymore Lets play safe?

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Lets make out to slowdive. Under the moon, against each other.LOOKING FOR MY "CLOSE ENOUGH TO PERFECT" I am very sincere and honest and a hardworking man whom I think is a better man in a relationship than any man I have known through life. I believe in give and take,along with communication being the major point of any relationship being great.I treat as I like to get and that can be special to someone I care about. I have just found that most women have never had that and don't even know how to react to it.I love spending time together and sharing the romance and adventure life provides if you go for it. I had a different life and had all my fun in life when I was and didn't till I was 25.Since then I have hoped to find the one to share the rest of life with,but it just hasn't worked out that way. Maybe this will give me the opportunity to meet someone special that I never would otherwise. I'm a man looking for my best friend and soulmate for sure.I'm a very hard working man who has been in the flooring and contracting business for over 30 years now.I live alone with 2 cats that I've had 13 years and still find myself wishing I had a woman who loved as much attention as they do and also returns it.To me,I'm what normal should be,but it seems that I'm a man anymore these days who just needs one good woman to appreciate it.I also think anything can be fun when shared with the right person....I like travelling,camping,boating,motorcycles,dancing,bowling,flea markets or going into the mountains and spending a romantic weekend in a nice cabin.I like waterfalls and the mountains extremely and which is what made me move to TN 13 years ago. All I need is the right one to share life in general with.Although I do smoke and I know that ruins the thought of people being near some good guys.I would like to quit,but feel I need to feel content and happy to do so. I like a woman who is secure with herself and able to begin a new relationship with leaving her past where it belongs.All the women who have been so hurt in the past that they aren't able to give of themselves aren't for me.I don't think I should need to have a jackhammer to help tear down all the walls some people put up and want someone open to having a happy life with a good guy.So,if you happen to find any of this interesting,then send me an to tell me so. Please put "looking for happiness" as the subject or I will delete it and not be opening mail.Thanks for reading and will hope to hear from just one special lady who gets my attention. I have just one simple request for anyone who might want to reply...That would be to please know you are ready to put forth the interest and effort in making a relationship work in taking the chance on love. I'm finding that at my age many women aren't able to give that sincerely because of their past experiences. Also,please don't respond to me if you are not in the Knoxville,TN area. Online and long distance relationships do not work well.Wives wants sex horny local girls