it seems given the fact that even here there is a lot of variation in what people think and how they approach the problem, that you probably find the same thing within the movement. I doubt that, as a whole, it ever do anything with one mind (try and try as it might). IMHO, this is the one thing saving it from being a complete lost cause as as there is disagreement, that means there be people willing to recognize difference. It is only when it agrees on something with one mind that you really need to worry that it is beyond. There be factions and feminists of all stripes. My suggestion is that you try and seek out the ones who do recognize your contributions and work with them, or, better yet, the ones who push back against you just a little, but not so much as to come to a total standstill. This might not put you right in the limelight at the big girl table, but the one thing that ulula and I both seem to agree on is that that table is dysfunctional and useless anyway, so why the hell would you want to sit there?! To my mind, you would not be able to keep your identity. To ulula's, you would not be able to make a difference. For whatever it's worth, I struggle with this question in my own work, where conformity is also highly prized and the popular kid club is alive and well (and I most certainly do not belong to it). That said, what I have noticed over time is that the contributions that get remembered and are the most powerful are almost always from someone who knows the rules enough to play the game, but is also outside just far enough to exactly where the blind spots are. THOSE are the people who do truly amazing things, because they are the ones who can actually create a paradigm shift in the way things are done, but without being so far out that they get no attention at all. People who are too far in the system are almost always incapable of that bit of critical distance.

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lite housekeeping Look, lots of people have someone come in, and if you get a single freelance person, it is cheaper than an agency like Maids. There is a trust issue, tho, so ask around, and sometimes a high school student you know, or a stay home mom, or someone who cleans offices take this up on the side. there are plenty of people who have had breast cancer, can't lift their arm-have help come in to keep everything for them. Or have just lost their wife due to death, and have a help come in to freshen up the house and be a bit of chat for a few hours. You should have no problem, ask around and don't listen to these yahoos who are meanie weanies on CL.

I think that it's when you have paranoid ups that you tend to lose your manhood. They're indicitive of fear and ignorance. A fearful and ignorant isn't very manly. I can respect your feeling that anal is gross poop is involved and it IS a bit yucky. I put up with that all the same because it's REALLY fun. But equating anal with manly or not-manly is rather simplistic and kinda fearful and ignorant.

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