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Hear how she's a victim in the mess she herself is creating. So you've never loved your husband yet you married the twit now didn't you. Then comes the list of shit you've tolerated over the years and as always capped off with the reasons you can't go none of them your fault of course. No. Yup the power of one little fucking word, no. You've had the power to say it all along. No one held a gun to your head. You could have said no when he asked to you but you didn't. You could have said no when he said he loved you .no I don't feel the same way .no. Yet here you are because you didn't say those things you said yes. So you're caught a bit here. Either the line about never loving him is a lie or you lied yourself into a marriage. And also common is the realization you're 42. Guess what, you've got your own little midlife crisis going on. Hey, you've made the club. Here you are looking at your pathetic life and wondering how you can stop this wreck before you die on the Titanic. How about you start by owning your shit. If you've done the counseling route you should already have this part down or did you get one of the shitty counselors who made it all about some bs beyond your control? Nope, it's on you. Now there's good news in that. If its on you to do something about your life then you actually have the power to do something about it. You've had it all along. You know if you've lied this you're probably going to have problems stopping but you're at a turning point. You're about to get hit between the eyes with reality. That if there's really no point in continuing your marriage, you can divorce. That you're not going to look good no matter what you try to do in explaining your own failures sorry the MS doesn't cut it. It's not some fucking trump card. That you decided to this and you haven't really forced the issues. You haven't told him its this or divorce, not in any producktive way tha thou could have picked up at the melter. So make a decision, if you want to divorce, do it. But OWN it. Same if you decide to roll the dice own the choice win or lose. Trust me, no one has been having a fucking picnic so quit fantasizing about how shitty your life is and how nice it must be for everyone. Get real make a choice.

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scanning the horizon for ships, as Bib had been instructed to do..A supermoon illuminated the ship and the Gulf around them as he watched the little parrot pull items out of the duffel bag he had bought for her..First she got a few sunflower seeds and munched them..these seemed to calm her a bit, then she used her dexteritous feet to bring out a bottle of nail polish and begin to paint her toenails Hmmm..said Bib Purple Polish is an odd choice don't you think"? mused parrot stared into Bibs eyes and her feathers ruffled. OK Bib thought..best to just let it go..hours past and Bibs eyes began to shut and he thought just a little cat nap won't hurt But just as Bib dozed off a voice squawked in his ear.."Hey Dumbazz"..It was the parrot Bib was told could not speak..I thought you couldn't talk, Bib exclaimed.."never had anything worth talking about so far"..the bird angrily exclaimed "You do know this is a ship, don't you genius"? "We have to get off this ship pronto, I am not about to do any time with you" what have i gotten us into, and how we get off this ship lamented Bib to be continued..

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