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Besides having all the hobbies you do? When do you do classwork? By the way, any guy who has 2-3 days of the week to date doesn't sound very serious about life. If he has a real job, that is. I totally get the weight situation, since I've found that mostly males approach me, and it's not for having a relationship, either. Sometimes I think average women are lucky because at least when a is interested in them, it's because he sees beyond the outside. However, remind yourself of this: men are visual and the portion of good men who like to be instantly attracted to a woman are more likely to pass you over if there's just "too much" extra weight. I mean, more rounded curves don't usually scare men off, but a 5' pound sounds kind of big. And like men don't like for women to try to change them, no wants to you big and consider you a "fixer upper" that he can mold into the perfect woman. You know what's sexy? Having the before and after pictures of yourself once you meet some great guy. He'll that you don't need anyone to take charge of your life. You do things for yourself, not to impress some guy. That's what truly respecting yourself means. I can't stress enough how much it would help to take a few months off as a hiatus. Clear your mind of men or dating or relationships. You have friends, so meet with them instead. Do this for yourself to become stronger. I can sense you're a bit codependent by the statement that "if you had, you could take time off." No, you can be single and on your own, too. There's no fear in being single and alone, as much as it seem impossible.

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Yeah, I've thought of that. Counseling could help a lot. I'm going to wait a bit though. I broke my arm in, and we're still trying to catch up on those bills. I have a degree, but unfortunately, it's in psychology. I can't really afford to go for a masters with two in college and one more going in 2 years another one 2 years after that. I'm trying to ride it out right now. I'm hoping being at the other house with one mortgage, one set of utility bills etc help a lot. My daughter is only a freshman, and would probably do okay with changing schools, but my is a and has trouble in school, and really needs to stay there. I'm kind of afraid of what would happen if he became bitter about the divorce and switching schools.

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Thank you all for the feedback. Just to be clear .I realize there are lots of loop holes in that fantasy. It wasn't meant to realistic, all fantasies have elements that are WAY out there. I was just venting. The point of my fantasy is, I like the idea of giving a woman an orgasm while her husband is in the room and he's not aware that she's experiencing an orgasm. To me it's that bit of danger that makes it hot. And .the idea of woman asking me to give her husband a handjob and he's not aware of who's doing it turns me on too. And I to role play. Any more comments? I would to hear them!